Day Hundred and Seventeen

Love is patient, love is kind. He is neither. He also told me that he doesn't want to talk to me unless he wants to. He also gets agitated whenever I try and ask him about his life because it seems like everything I'm doing is probing or stalkerish, when really, I just want to know what's happening in his life, like any friend does. I admit that I am somewhat clingy. But this was the situation:
- we didn't talk for two days
- I wanted to talk just briefly over something funny that happened because I thought that he'd find it funny
- after the conversation (herein lies my mistake), I tried asking him what he was up to
- he didn't feel like talking and it felt like I was probing into his life too much
- I asked him why and he said he didn't know why but maybe because he didn't want to talk to me
- I said that I thought he didn't like structure i.e. he likes random conversations
- he said "yes... but only when it is me who is contacting you randomly".
- more arguing
- he said "screw this, I'm going to play games now"
- I cried but tried to say that he should go and have fun
- he wouldn't hang up because he was uncomfortable with the fact that I was crying
- I said "it's okay, it's not your duty to worry over my feelings any more."
- he said "laters" and hung up

If he truly, truly loved me still, would he keep me at an arm's length? And yeah, fine, he doesn't have the duty as my boyfriend to be concerned over my feelings, but any merciful human being who has made someone else cry would not just leave it at that.

I agree, we should talk less. But I find it insufferable almost that only HE has the right to talk to me. And only then, does he feel like talking. But oh no, if I want to talk to him, he doesn't want to talk because he doesn't feel like it. And what else would he be doing anyway? Oh, that's right. Playing games.
I treat every single phone call as a gift because I like talking to him. I didn't know that it was a chore for him.

Why did you even tell me that you loved me still? Sometimes I wonder if you know what love means.