Today I learnt that regardless of the feelings shared by both parties, you can never ever disclose them unless it is an emotional moment, such as a farewell. And it makes sense.
But now I have to learn to stop corralling him in. Half of me thinks that he's right in that, I have no right to do that. Even during our relationship, he frequently accused me of doing that.
The other half of me wishes that he'd feel that separation makes suffocation better than the alternative of not hearing from me at all.
I should also stop treating him differently. But when I asked him if he treated me differently, he said that he did.
And also, I should stop over-analysing because apparently not every single girl over-analyses. But I swear, every girl over-analyses. Oh, wait, except for that empty headed flirt who lives with him. How on earth am I supposed to not over-analyse that choice of girl when I asked him to provide an example of someone who doesn't over-analyse?
Bottom line: as a friend, I don't think I'd make the effort to see him. Because Janus doesn't live within us, and I can't treat him like my best friend and my ex at the same time. And so, unfortunately, he just becomes a friend. And one that lives in a different city. Seeing as I cannot be bothered even walking across the city forty minutes to visit a guy friend, how am I supposed to gather the motivation to visit just another guy friend, a five hour drive away?
I'm surprised he hasn't come to that conclusion himself seeing as he prides himself on his own insight.
No comments:
Post a Comment