Sometimes I wonder if I'm just going through the motions and if it's all just a mindscrew. Like I should know that I should mourn. So I mourn without wanting to move on.
I also wonder what goes through his mind. Every relationship is divided into three parts:
- talking and hanging out
- sexual
- affectionate
I miss affectionate the most. And I don't know if I just want to keep talking in hopes that he'll give that part back to me one day.
It's funny how our relationship is now. He described it as this:
one person: "Hey, where are you?"
the other person: "I'm still here"
I just need to believe that he still is until one day we both don't need each other any more.
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