It's been such an odd weekend, emotionally. I arrived last night, tired, depressed and very, very late. So the first thing I did was cry. I was just so, so upset. And I forgot how comforting it is to have someone just hold you while you cry, to have someone kiss away those tears.
I didn't say what was on my mind, but he decided to stay over after all. So we went out to karaoke, held hands on the street and up to the karaoke bar.
After that, we came back and I was cuddled to sleep.
I like being spooned to sleep.
The next morning, we slept in and then went to brunch. Shared lunch and came back to the flat. And then the conversation went like this:
"Tell me what you feel"
"No"
-further coaxing-
"I need to know, just so I know if I need to move. So do I need to move?"
Silence.
"Yes"
So there we have it... there are no more rose coloured glasses now. Even though he still likes me, it feels like this is it. Of course, there is the fact that we went through half our relationship with him not loving me.
I know that this is supposed to happen... we're meant to slowly drift apart. But now that it's starting to happen, I feel so empty, even though I have to admit, that at times over these last few weeks, I have started to feel the same too. Until last night.
It's funny... when you say 'I love you', you think it'll last forever. Forever just doesn't exist.
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