#domesticsuccess

Paleo carrot cake cupcake: tick
Low fat quiche: tick

Honestly, my paleo carrot cake cupcake was a dream. Even better once refrigerated and with a layer of cream cheese icing (which probably contains more calories than the cupcake itself). There was not a hint of sugar or flour to be seen (I used almond meal as the flour replacement and pureed dates and honey as the sweetener) AND with a measly 25g of butter between 12 cupcakes, I think this recipe is pretty legit. Perhaps a lighter option in the future would be to serve it with some Greek yoghurt (which I maintain, is honestly the best thing since sliced bread). And it was like eating an actual real cupcake still, without sacrificing any of the taste. Mmm.

And this aforementioned miracle ingredient also went into my quiche - which took an hour to cook, and not the half an hour that my recipe was recommending. Worth the wait, but oh so sad when I saw how quickly it disappeared from my plate. But it was tempered by the fact that my accompanying salad was almost equally as delicious - I tell you, dukkah and Greek yoghurt are a match made in Moroccan heaven. If I had to pick two ingredients that could flow unceasingly from a magic tap and into my kitchen, those would actually be the two ingredients that I would pick. Or smoked salmon. But not nearly as versatile. And I'd be reduced to simply eating smoked salmon instead of doing something interesting.

And now, I am trying to figure out when I can eat everything coughhowtofiteverythingintomycurrentstateofdietcough - I believe try to believe in moderation. As much as I would like to nom everything down that I have made in a matter of days, it probably wouldn't be great for metabolism and the like to have a massive binge fest. I will eat it... it just will take immense levels of self control. And looking at the legs of models or maybe the twigs outside on the trees. I lol.

This weekend has been productive in the kitchen. Not so much with my studies - except for my breakthrough with the brainstem nuclei, which I think I can comfortably fire off. Let's revise for funsies (while my laptop recharges):

General Somatic Motor Efferents
- oculomotor: CNIII
- trochlear: CNIV
- abducens: CNVI
- hypoglossal: CNXII

Branchial Efferents
- trigeminal motor: CNV
- facial: CNVII
- nucleus ambiguus: CNIX, X and cranial root of XI
- spinal accessory: spinal root of CNXI

General Visceral Efferents
- Edinger Westphal: CNIII
- superior salivatory: CNVII
- inferior salivatory: CNIX
- dorsal motor of vagus: CNX

General Visceral Sensory Afferents
- nucleus of tractus solitarius: CN VI, IX, X and cranial root of XI

General Somatic Sensory Afferents
- sensory trigeminal nuclear complex: CNV, VII, IX and X

Special Somatic Afferent
- vestibulocochlear: CNVIII

yeeeeeaaaah boi. Except this took me a good few days before I actually fully understood what I was trying to learn.

#thehappy

Things about today that made me particularly happy
- feeling the burn on my abs after doing tabata: which is good because it means I'm using the right muscle groups
- managing to get my WOF done and my car passing: every single time I drop my car to get its WOF, it is uncanny how similar waiting for the results is to waiting in a doctor's office
- getting a car park next to my flat: let me explain. I live quite close to the city centre and my street is full of free parks. Unfortunately, this means that every single resident on my street AND anyone else who works in town and who has to drive in from the outer suburbs compete for parks. So, it is honestly, so incredibly difficult to find a park if you have moved your car before 6pm, which I had done to get my WOF. I was praying in my mind, "Pleaaaaaase God, give me a car park, pleeeeaaaase" and lo and behold, there is a free one. Right outside my flat.
- my dinner: not gonna lie. It was pretty damned good. Dukkah coated chicken tenders on a bed of couscous with a tzatziki dressing and it didn't take me too long to make
- E.: I told him that mum had some serious cravings for some green tea cake and since he was visiting home tomorrow, he went and bought some to fly up with him. I think it's cute how my parents are so eager to hang out with him, but at the same time, how willing he is to see them. Without me. Also he bought me shoes. And shoes as everyone knows, is the true way to a girl's heart

#medstudentsyndrome

So, uncanny timing last night (cheers, for that brain), whereby it decided to have a migraine - I shit you not - just as music practice for Sunday was meant to start. Obviously, this wasn't very conducive to playing the piano because I couldn't see everything in my right visual field. So I sat out on practice and fortunately, one of the singers for Sunday is an incredibly talented pianist (who normally plays on Sunday anyway) stepped in. Poor guy. This Sunday must've been a rest day for him. Not that he actually needs to spend time practicing anyway.

Anyway, I got driven home and went straight to sleep because in my experience, I usually can sleep off migraines. Oh nonono. At 1am, my head decides to wake me up with a splitting pain and I can tell you that it was probably the worst migraine pain I have felt in a very, very long time. Call me a pussy, but I was thinking subarachnoid haemorrhage. Also because I am a hypochondriac and doing neuro is not doing wonders for that, because now everything feels like it could be caused by a stroke, haemorrhage or brain tumour. So I was sitting there, nay lying in agony, questioning myself if this was really truly a migraine, and not a subarachnoid haemorrhage, which would mean my ICP rocketing sky high in a matter of moments and me losing consciousness as my pupils blow. I was quite tempted to actually get out of bed and test my pupillary light reflex. But instead, I listened to my rational self (no, you have no evidence of trauma. But you do those damned bicycle crunches in which you fling your head back and forth, surely you could have torn a vein. Yes, but that'd make a subdural more likely and there would be reports of that shit happening to fitness freaks. And if it was a subdural, you don't normally get splitting pain. Also your pain is one sided LIKE A FUCKING MIGRAINE instead of being generalised. Oh, alright) and got out of bed to get paracetamol instead. And within half an hour, I was blissfully asleep again - so yes, I must've been a pussy if paracetamol was enough to take away my pain.

Also whilst in the throes of my migraine, I finally worked out how the optic nerves decussate and decided that something was happening in my left optic radiation to cause my right homonymous hemianopia. Whilst also a sign of something vascular affecting the posterior cerebral artery or perhaps a brain tumour, a transient right homonymous hemianopia is also a common part of the aura phase of a migraine, especially when accompanied by a 'scintillating scotoma'. Is that not the coolest term ever? It just means a fuzzy shimmering thing in my visual field which gradually expands as my vision starts to go all funky. Chur, Wikipedia.
My thought process also was like, oh - it's the left side of my head that actually hurts. May be it's referred pain from my left optic radiation as my blood vessels are vasospasming. But the brain doesn't feel pain. And then I couldn't really go any further from there. Also because thinking hurt my head.

#culinaryexcitement

I can't wait to try paprika, cumin and garlic roasted chickpeas with dukkah coated chicken tenders. Oh, the nomnomnoms. I've decided that the advent of doing proper exercise means that I can afford to eat a bit more. Also, eating sub 1000 calories a day is probably putting my body into starvation mode. And now, I think I'm more concerned about just losing tummy fat as opposed to losing global body weight.
- Weds: Deconstructed Vietnamese spring roll salad (which is what I've been eating for virtually the last three months... still haven't gotten sick of it. Especially now that I've substituted the rice flakes for egg noodles. And fuck me, it just adds next level texture)
- Thurs: Chickpeas and chicken???
- Fri: Choy sum and soup?

I am going to make that crustless cottage cheese, smoked salmon, spinach and tomato quiche this weekend. Sooo spinach leaves, cottage cheese and tomato are on the shopping list for this week! Ah, thinking about eating healthily makes me happy.

postscript

HAH. in your face, John Reynolds. The oculomotor nerve derives its fibres from the general somatic motor efferent nuclei (the oculomotor nuclei) AND the general visceral efferent nuclei (Edinger Westphal nuclei), NOT derived in the branchial nuclei as you said.

#endorphins

I forgot the rush of endorphins that comes after you do a decent workout and take a hot shower. My muscles are all currently telling me that I am a retard, but it was totes worth it. It was surprisingly enjoyable - well, maybe until the last tabata when I was doing bicycle crunches and toe crunches. But apart from that, it was actually quite fun and definitely different from what I've been doing for the last three months. And I've realised that I have not been pushing myself at all... by the second tabata, I had sweat dripping from places that I forgot could even sweat (i.e. the popliteal fossa). And the best thing was that it happened after EIGHT MINUTES. Not twenty minutes of running and getting bored out of my mind.
I don't think I can go back to running for 45 minutes again. Best things about tabata:

• the exercise changes after 4 minutes (or even sooner if you want to do a mixed tabata) so you don't get bored
• you get an entire body workout: the fact that every single muscle in my body is currently aching is evidence of that
• I can change the exercises when my body gets used to one (although doing 96 odd squats with weights is going to take awhile for my body to adapt to...)
• It takes me half an hour to work out and I am pretty knackered (no, destroyed) after that, whereas I used to have to do an hour's work to get to the same level of exhaustedness 
• I don't even have to leave the house. When I was running at the gym, it'd take me half an hour to get there and back, plus time to get changed and to find a bloody car park

Also, said couple in our med class who got married? They brought a flippin' wedding cake to class today to share. Honestly, I thought we should've bought them a bloody cake. And fuck me, it was actually the most beautiful chocolate cake I've had in quite some time. So rich and moist that half a slice was more than enough - except, I kinda wanted to go in for seconds after nomnoming it down in a matter of seconds. 

#healthyeatingyay

Just made the most amazing creamy marinara sauce over zucchini pasta. I am still buzzing over it because it was so tasty and so damn healthy.

Ingredients (serves one):
- 2x zucchini
- 1 can of diced tomatoes (mine was flavoured with garlic and basil)
- 3 mushrooms
- 1/4 of an onion
- handful of basil leaves
- crushed garlic
- olive oil
- 1/4 cup of light Greek yoghurt

1. Using a grater, grate the zucchini into long shreds (so it resembles pasta) - mainly because I don't own a mandolin and so I read somewhere, that if you use a grater on its side, it's pretty much the same and so far, I haven't had any major issues.
2. Lightly fry the zucchini with a little olive oil and salt and then set aside.
3. Dice mushrooms and onion. Cut basil leaves into bits.
4. In a saucepan, add a tablespoon of olive oil and fry the onion and minced garlic.
5. Add mushrooms and cook until the mushrooms are done. Add some dried mixed herbs/basil (optional, but we have oodles of dried herbs lying around the house, and I think it adds to the flavour)
6. Add the can of diced tomatoes to the saucepan and heat until the sauce begins to thicken. At that point, at the basil leaves, with salt and pepper to taste.
7. Remove saucepan from heat, and I waited maybe two minutes for my marinara sauce to cool down before I added half of it to the Greek yoghurt.
8. Add this mixture to the rest of the marinara sauce in the saucepan and mix well.
9. Mix into the zucchini pasta and serve :)
Honestly, I love light Greek yoghurt. It tastes like it should be waaaay more unhealthier than it really is. But at a measly 25-ish calories for 1/4 cup, it makes the marinara sauce just a weeeeee bit more derishious.

Had a great tabata workout today and I am running hiiiiigh on endorphins. Yay. Time to tackle neuro.

#tabata

I. Am. So. Sore. and it's only been three hours since I did my first tabata workout and my core is sooooo sore. But hopefully this will help shave off the last remaining bits of unsightly belly fat over my abs. I want a bean bag over my tummy...

#soulmates?

There's a couple in our class who are getting married tomorrow. I know I'm about to sound judgmental BUT this is totally unintentional, so here are the bare facts: they met last year during second year medicine and got engaged at the beginning of this year and now, they are getting married. Granted, it is a bit too fast for myself, but they are in the stage of life where such happenings are entirely normally because they are both mature adults. Also, this is ignoring the fact that once you've found 'the one', I don't know why you'd waste any more time and clearly, they have found each other, and there's no denying that they are a perfect fit for each other. So, I'm not trying to sound judgmental at all when I say that for myself, I personally would not marry someone who I have only known for a year.

Especially when I put it into the context of my own relationship. The thought of marrying E. when we had been only going out for a year sends shivers (and not the nice type either) down my spine. I suppose it's because we met while we were still teenagers, barely grown up (and still barely grown up now). But you do a lot of changing in your early twenties and your identity and sense of self is still rather plastic. I happen to be lucky in that E. didn't turn out to be a complete asshole and while he has done some incredibly asinine things during the last five years, I much prefer the person that he is now, compared to who he was five years ago. In the last few years, we've also discovered that we can happily live our own lives, not to take each other for granted and what sort of people we are under stressful situations when we're around each other. Those sorts of things don't come easily when you've only been going out for a short period of time. While I can tell you that the E. of present is as close it gets to being my soulmate, I can tell you that the E. of second year was most certainly not.

I remember declaring to my friends when I was misty eyedetcetecetc, that I had to go out with someone for at least five years and then be engaged for another two before I was assured that I had found the 'right one'. I'll probably regret making such declarations given the fact that most of my friends will probably get married before I do (because of having to finish bloody med school first) and I will consequently become madly jealous. But I think my fourteen year old self had some wisdom there.

#neurowillbemybitch

Read above. I will bend it to my will, just like how the pontine flexure bends the neural tube.

#iwanttobewbusby

I have my role model. I want to be like Dr. W. Busby. She is intimidating, terrifying, knowledgeable and all-round, scary as fuck. But she demands your attention because she has this way of engaging your learning. In a way, she reminds me of my high school chemistry teacher, Ms. Aupa'au. Except ten times scarier because she'll call you out in front of the whole med class. Also, she has an amazing physique for a lady in her mid fifties (that's a rough estimate). I must've spent half the lecture scared as fuck and the other half admiring her biceps. But I want to be like that... to know my stuff and to scare hapless med students (all while in the process of teaching them). Also, she's a consultant in geriatrics - an area which I've always been interested in.
Anyway, in today's lecture, she was strolling - no, marching up and down the aisles demanding answers from the class about risk factors of stroke. I have to say, I felt pretty stoked when she asked what the subset of the population were more at risk, and then when no one answered, I finally yelled out "Diabetics,", and when she followed it up with another question about the target systolic blood pressure for them (compared to the rest of the general populace), I actually knew the answer, thanks to browsing through the NZ Cardiovascular Guidelines when I was an intern.

omg i'm gassy from all that alcohol i've been drinking. my flatmate and i made our own Bailey's Cream
-interlude wherein i run to the bathroom-
i must've released at least 300mL of fluid just then. but i feel great now because before, my abdomen was soooo rigid. and whilst on the crapper, i could feel the peristalsis. that was honestly such a satisfying bowel motion.

Anyway... yes, my flatmate and I made our own Bailey's Cream. Incredibly unhealthy - also, I didn't realise that it had such a strong alcoholic sting to it. Noob, I know, but I suppose because I've been mixing it with hot chocolates and coffees, I couldn't really taste the alcohol in it.

Today must be the day for trying out recipes. I finally tried the zucchini pasta with avocado pesto. It was actually really easy and I added in some mushrooms and cashew nuts just to add some texture. The first bite was divine - but towards the end, I was basically forcing it down because it got so damn rich. So I think for next time, I'll only add half the amount of olive oil to it because it got quite slick. But definitely, zucchini pasta is an option should I ever have cravings for pasta/pasta sauce. It was so simple: just put your grater on its side and grate away. I might branch out and try different sauces though. Time to rummage through Pinterest...

#mozart

It is so satisfying studying while listening to some decent Mozart pieces. And yes, while I am fully aware that Mozart lived some fifty/sixty years before Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice, I maintain that it feels like I'm some sort of period drama when I listen to it. I'd like to think that's because the composer for the soundtrack got inspiration from some of Mozart's pieces.

Yesterday in our humanities elective, we had to discuss our aspirations once we left med school. Everyone else wanted to go overseas and work for a bit. My aspiration was to "Finish med school as soon as possible and give birth". My classmates must think I am the most uninspired and small minded person... the dream is literally to become a GP and still have a 9 to 5 job. And I shit you not, that sounds so incredibly enticing.

Also, sizing in Country Road is shocking. I'm sorry, but your sizes are verging on American ridiculous. I am by no means tinier than most of the population in New Zealand. In fact, I think I'm still within average. And it is ridiculous that their smallest size (which is a 4) does not fit. I dislike how New Zealand stores are constantly upscaling their sizes. Back in the day, sizes used to run true and the last time I checked, I was not a 4. Another reason why the British do it better. Thank you Asos, I am a true 8. And this whole size 4 business at Country road is ridiculous. The end.

#mindnumb

Psych med is soul destroying. I'm sorry, but I could neverevereverevereverever do psych med. It just bores me to tears. Opthalmology on the other hand, is pretty neat.

Note to self: zucchini pasta! I am excited.

#contented

There's just something so relaxing, even though you're not talking, sitting side by side reading. I'm really enjoying seeing E. once a month - which is quite a luxury because all throughout fourth year, my intern year and last year, we'd probably see each other once every two months at the very best. I suppose it's part of the secret to staying so happy - we don't really take each other's company for granted.

We also had crab yesterday evening and it is such an impossible food to eat politely. We gave up almost five minutes in and exposed ourselves to the world as severely lacking in table manners. Which was ironic, because we were sitting by the window and prior to our food arriving, had been judging the classy inebriated souls who were staggering past in several states of dishevelledness. Anyway, eating the crab involved tearing off each the claws/pincers/nippybits and sucking whatever flesh there was out. Except, I sort of failed when I tried to tear off one of the claws because it flew up into the air and hit E. squarely in the eye. It was amusing. What wasn't so amusing was how E. gave up on using his utensils entirely and decided to scoop the salsa sauce that was bathing the crab with his fingers. Also, funny part - when some of the salsa ended up on E's top, he tried licking it off and ended up looking like a dog.
So important life lesson learnt: do not order crab when in polite company. As the waitress said, thankfully this was not our first date.

#wintersoupreflections

Made mishmash soup. It was pretty awesome. I will dub it March soup in honour of the fact that I needed it. In March.

It was actually just what I was craving on a cold day. For my own future reference

- preliminary fry up of an onion, celery and carrot with garlic

- add in dried coriander, cumin and paprika 

- in a pot, boil the contents of two cans of canned tomatoes, two cups of water and two XO chicken stock cubes

- add the vegetables (shouldn't be cooked completely at this point) to the contents in the pot

- add some garam masala and more paprika, plus salt to taste

- add some chopped mushrooms

- reduce soup by boiling off water to a point that you think the consistency is thick-ish

- add a few sprigs of fresh coriander

- add 3/4 cup of couscous and let it boil for a bit, then remove from heat

I had a thought provoking conversation with my flatmate and it gave me cause to ponder. I have always laughed at the prospect of myself becoming anorexic given the fact that 

a) I love eating far too much

b) I lack the self discipline to not eat at all

But anyway, her question was "How often do you think about or worry about what you eat during a day?" 

Now, I don't really calorie count exactly, but I will admit that I do think about what I am eating or what I am going to eat more than I used to. I don't think I could ever stop eating, but I do think I put in more of an effort thinking about meals that are healthier. What her question made me think was the fact that (well, for me) there's a fine line between thinking about eating healthily and obsessing over my intake of the day. I don't think there's an issue about not stuffing myself full and stopping myself from snacking unnecessarily during the day, but it's a slippery slope from this to having an unhealthy relationship with food. I do admit to having a slightly more than irrational fear of gaining weight again and it don't want it to be the impetus for me to slide down that slope. I think it's important (for myself at least), to not focus on not becoming anorexic, but rather to establish an understanding within myself about eating. Because let's face it... I don't want to take a year off because I've managed to work myself into an eating disorder. I want to bloody finish this medical degree and begin life. 

#braceyourselfwinteriscoming

AND IT'S ONLY MARCH. M A R C H.

what the fuck. I almost want to turn the heat pump on and the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that it's fucking March. And it's not meant to be hailing and shit at this time of year.

#baileys

Anything with chocolate and bailey's is amazing.