this is a conversation I had with E. this weekend past. note: it was his birthday.
E: so there's this rumour going around the hospital that i'm 30 years old. my consultant asked me today how old i was turning today and i said 34. but to be honest, sometimes i forget my own age.
G: are you serious? how can you forget your own age?
E: well, sometimes i think that i'm still 22.
G: i wish i was 22 still. 23 is so old. i think you get officially old when you get past 25. at least 23 isn't too far off from 22.
E: i just turned 24.
GL well, shit. i forgot that i already turned 23. point taken.
i turn 24 this year. that's quite disgusting.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
#drugsssss
it's funny how despite being a health professional, i am immensely reluctant to take drugs. granted, i was brought up by my alternative medicine loving mother who drilled into my head overandoverandover again that medicines were unnatural and 'why on earth was i doing pharmacy/now medicine?'
i've had an awful migraine that's lasted two days, which in itself is odd because usually i can sleep them off. anyway, after dosing myself up on regular paracetamol and ibuprofen, i am almost as right as rain. but it took immense pain for me to get to this point of actually taking them, which begs the question... why am i okay with dishing them out to others, but soooo reluctant taking them myself?
i've had an awful migraine that's lasted two days, which in itself is odd because usually i can sleep them off. anyway, after dosing myself up on regular paracetamol and ibuprofen, i am almost as right as rain. but it took immense pain for me to get to this point of actually taking them, which begs the question... why am i okay with dishing them out to others, but soooo reluctant taking them myself?
Saturday, January 18, 2014
#fakebritishcitizen
must remember not to put on a faux british accent when talking to patients. i can't help it though because everything seems more intelligent when someone with a british accent is saying it.
except, i think there is an exception to this rule when an asian girl uses a fake one. i must sound like an absolute twit. i sound like a twit when i hear myself but i can't help it :((( i have to live abroad and acquire one legitimately.
except, i think there is an exception to this rule when an asian girl uses a fake one. i must sound like an absolute twit. i sound like a twit when i hear myself but i can't help it :((( i have to live abroad and acquire one legitimately.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
#shallowrant
my boobs are shrinking. whyyyy can't i have the best of both worlds? i.e. be a size 6 and still have my beautiful chest? cryface.
currently, my desire for my thigh gap is winning but if i drop to an A cup, i'd MUCH prefer having my rack back, pleaseandthankyou. also, have come to the conclusion that if i lose any more weight, i will not fit the clothes in stores any more because they don't stock anything below a 6. so now i have to find a way of maintaining this weight... because i don't think i can do carbfree for the rest of the year.
currently, my desire for my thigh gap is winning but if i drop to an A cup, i'd MUCH prefer having my rack back, pleaseandthankyou. also, have come to the conclusion that if i lose any more weight, i will not fit the clothes in stores any more because they don't stock anything below a 6. so now i have to find a way of maintaining this weight... because i don't think i can do carbfree for the rest of the year.
Friday, January 10, 2014
#lateentrysoz
Having no internet for ten days was honestly so hard. It's odd to think that I can't actually live happily without checking my Facebook every ten minutes... which is weird because I did live in an age before smartphones existed and in a time when you had to wait at least a minute before your dial up connection would let you onto the net. And even then, Neopets would take fucking forever to load (I was ten).
Anyway, belated wrap of the year: To be honest, I felt like I fell three steps behind in my life. Yes, I had just become registered as a pharmacist and then boom - back to student life. Granted it was a very comfortable student life, what with smoked salmon for dinner and a warm heated flat, but it was weird having no responsibilities again. Well, no adult responsibilities. And my main concern was trying to buy clothes that I previously had been able to afford on a pharmacist's salary on a student budget.
That sounds really shallow. But to be honest, my needs and focuses this year have been shallow - in comparison to the life changing goals I had for 2012. How do I put it... as a second year university student, my aims and goals for the year were sort of insignificant in the long run if you were to compare them to the ones I had made in 2012. Without sounding ungrateful (because I am still happy about them) or smug, yes - I wanted and got distinction in my exams at the end of second year med, yes - I achieved my goal weight and am on the way to losing more.
But in comparison to the aims that I had in 2012 - where I wanted to register as a pharmacist and get into medicine... it all just sounds like I'm swimming in the shallows. Like my life is on pause. But I suppose, I expected that when I chose to go back to study. I'm not saying that 2013 was a horrible year - because it wasn't. I really enjoyed 2013 because I liked meeting the friends I have now, the connections I've made and the new knowledge I've gained. I don't regret choosing medicine because I realise now how much I am looking forward to returning to class and learning more, but at the same time, there's a hint of wistfulness as I watch my peers move on with their lives - getting married, graduating, having jobs.
I'd like to move on with my life. But I think it's going to be on hold for another four years. That might be a good thing because that way, I truly am able to evaluate everything before rushing in and making life decisions that I may regret later.
I don't mean to sound melancholy in this retrospective reflection - because that's not the tone I meant to set. So what do I have to be thankful for?
- a pharmacy degree that set in me in good stead for second year medicine
- finding good friends and a study group
- having friends in their TI year who were willing to help me practice OSCE
- having a car. yes.
- my family for being understanding and my mother especially for being there when I needed a good chat (to digress - it's odd how one's relationship with your parents changes as you grow older. It's nice to know that I actually enjoy calling home to see how things are and to actually have a conversation... not just mum nagging me about something).
- having a regular Saturday job that gave me that wee bit of spare cash to buy myself that dress that I wanted or that extra coffee
- and speaking of coffees... discovering soy flat whites. I can honestly say that I drink coffee now (none of this mocha shit).
- an E. who has been able to make me fall even more in love than I thought possible
2014 should be an interesting year. It feels like the calm before the storm - before I uproot myself from this place and make one potentially significant decision. I am curious what this year will bring.
Anyway, belated wrap of the year: To be honest, I felt like I fell three steps behind in my life. Yes, I had just become registered as a pharmacist and then boom - back to student life. Granted it was a very comfortable student life, what with smoked salmon for dinner and a warm heated flat, but it was weird having no responsibilities again. Well, no adult responsibilities. And my main concern was trying to buy clothes that I previously had been able to afford on a pharmacist's salary on a student budget.
That sounds really shallow. But to be honest, my needs and focuses this year have been shallow - in comparison to the life changing goals I had for 2012. How do I put it... as a second year university student, my aims and goals for the year were sort of insignificant in the long run if you were to compare them to the ones I had made in 2012. Without sounding ungrateful (because I am still happy about them) or smug, yes - I wanted and got distinction in my exams at the end of second year med, yes - I achieved my goal weight and am on the way to losing more.
But in comparison to the aims that I had in 2012 - where I wanted to register as a pharmacist and get into medicine... it all just sounds like I'm swimming in the shallows. Like my life is on pause. But I suppose, I expected that when I chose to go back to study. I'm not saying that 2013 was a horrible year - because it wasn't. I really enjoyed 2013 because I liked meeting the friends I have now, the connections I've made and the new knowledge I've gained. I don't regret choosing medicine because I realise now how much I am looking forward to returning to class and learning more, but at the same time, there's a hint of wistfulness as I watch my peers move on with their lives - getting married, graduating, having jobs.
I'd like to move on with my life. But I think it's going to be on hold for another four years. That might be a good thing because that way, I truly am able to evaluate everything before rushing in and making life decisions that I may regret later.
I don't mean to sound melancholy in this retrospective reflection - because that's not the tone I meant to set. So what do I have to be thankful for?
- a pharmacy degree that set in me in good stead for second year medicine
- finding good friends and a study group
- having friends in their TI year who were willing to help me practice OSCE
- having a car. yes.
- my family for being understanding and my mother especially for being there when I needed a good chat (to digress - it's odd how one's relationship with your parents changes as you grow older. It's nice to know that I actually enjoy calling home to see how things are and to actually have a conversation... not just mum nagging me about something).
- having a regular Saturday job that gave me that wee bit of spare cash to buy myself that dress that I wanted or that extra coffee
- and speaking of coffees... discovering soy flat whites. I can honestly say that I drink coffee now (none of this mocha shit).
- an E. who has been able to make me fall even more in love than I thought possible
2014 should be an interesting year. It feels like the calm before the storm - before I uproot myself from this place and make one potentially significant decision. I am curious what this year will bring.
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