I'm not going to beg you.
But if you push me enough, I might just break.
postscript:
fdslkjdalkjdakldalkdalkafkljdfa'asjfngf whyyy can't I be more patient?!!!!
(also, I look cute when I'm angry?)
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Nine
This isn't a relationship, sweetheart.
It's a dictatorship with an iron fist.
Your love is not what it seems to be;
not a promise of freedom and equality.
Protesting is futile as we all know
the crackdown is brutal and violent.
So let's just pretend that I still believe
in what you used to whisper in my ear.
Cruel master and tyrant of thought,
set me free from your gilded cage.
It's a dictatorship with an iron fist.
Your love is not what it seems to be;
not a promise of freedom and equality.
Protesting is futile as we all know
the crackdown is brutal and violent.
So let's just pretend that I still believe
in what you used to whisper in my ear.
Cruel master and tyrant of thought,
set me free from your gilded cage.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Eight
Even though I'm laughing, you're still the one at the back of my mind.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Seven
Biggest fail yet. So I made a plan to meet up with my friend to do our assignment at 9:45am and then have pancakes for brunch with our mutual friend at 11am.
I woke up at 11:50am. And somehow thought that the time was 2pm.
I thought my clock screwed up. But it turns out that
a) I cannot read the time when I am disorientated
b) I turned my alarm off in my sleep
I woke up at 11:50am. And somehow thought that the time was 2pm.
I thought my clock screwed up. But it turns out that
a) I cannot read the time when I am disorientated
b) I turned my alarm off in my sleep
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Six
It's funny (and stupid) how a simple emoticon depicting a smile is enough to placate me.
Also, I had two incredibly amusing conversations with taxi drivers.
First conversation:
"Where are you from?" (actually, I think most people ask this of me as a conversational starter).
And seeing as taxi driver 1 looks relatively Asian (I'm allowed to make stereotypes), I answer that I come from Hong Kong. I also sneak a furtive look at his ID card, which tells me that his last name is Chang. Which is odd because his accent is decidedly not from China. So I politely ask him where he is from.
He is from Korea.
What I took away from this encounter: all Asians speak English with a different accent. And Chang is a Korean surname.
Taxi driver 1 has been taking health scis all morning to the first UMAT session and asks if I'm a health sci (which I hurriedly correct... for all people out there who do not know what a health sci is, these are first year university students who are taking health science, and who all think first year health science is equivalent to pre med. They are also the most annoying undergrads on the face of the planet).
After finishing that conversation snippet of why I am doing UMAT when I am not a health sci, the atmosphere in the car grows slightly awkward as you can tell that both of us are trying to think of some conversational starter. Eventually, we end up talking about the snow that fell on Sunday. And then we arrive. Taxi driver 1 wishes me good luck and drives away cheerfully.
Getting out of the car, I run into my current almost lover's/not-quite-ex's/once-every-two-monthly-boyfriend's fan club. Ughhhhhhhhhh. But I smirk anyway because facades and appearances are important.
Taxi driver 2:
He pulls up and lets me in. He is also a cute little Asian man. Once again, I get asked the same question. "Where are you from?"
At this point, I am tired and hungry... so I stutter somewhat when I reply. "Like, c-country wise?"
"Yes, country." He gives me a sideways look that could be interpreted as "Duh".
"Oh, I'm from Hong Kong."
"Hong Kong, shang gang, eh?" (shang gang = Hong Kong in Mandarin)
I nod.
"Oh, ni ke bu ke yi shou zhong wen?" (i.e. can you speak Chinese?)
"Yi dian dian." (i.e. a little). I ready myself for a torrent of Mandarin because generally when Chinese people realise you understand Chinese, they usually spout out tenmilliongazillionwordspersecond. And this puts me on the edge because my Mandarin is absolutely shit.
But to my surprise, he simply says "That's very good. Many Chinese in Western countries can't speak Chinese any more."
I hide any sign of surprise in my next question. "Oh, so you are from China... Hong Kong..." I trail off.
His reply stuns me. "No. I am from Korea."
I don't bother hiding my awe. "Wow. And you learnt Chinese? That's fantastic."
"I learnt it so I can read Chinese novels."
This man is legendary.
"Is Chinese similar to Korean?" I ask conversationally.
He shakes his head emphatically. "No. The two are very different. Korean and Japanese however, are quite similar syntactically."
Taxi driver 2 just earned fifty more points upon the use of the word 'syntactically'.
But taxi driver 2 doesn't seem to feel the same awe that I do as he sighs rather resigned. "I can read it, but when I speak it... mei you ren ke yi dong" (i.e. no one can understand me).
I try to placate him. "Oh, no. You speak it just fine. Your Mandarin is ten times better than mine. I can't even read Chinese."
I forgot what he said at this point. But somehow the conversation changes and he asks me if I'm a health sci... which I also hurriedly correct.
"A pharmacy student, eh?" He nods somewhat approvingly. "My daughter studied pharmacy. She wanted to do dentistry, but I told her, 'Why do you want to be a dentist? You don't want to spend the rest of your life looking into dirty mouths'."
I laugh appreciatively. There is no love lost between the School of Dentistry and the School of Pharmacy. Actually, we generally have nothing to do with each other simply because we're physically so far away from each other.
Taxi driver 2 continues. "So I tell her, study pharmacy instead and marry a dentist."
This elicits a genuine laugh from me because this comment is so much like what my friends and I would say to each other.
But he hasn't finished. "My daughter failed at that second part. She married an IT boy instead."
I try to think of a polite way of saying that IT men have nice salaries too. But taxi driver 2 gets there first. "Oh, but I still like him. IT is a good career too. He is a manager for the IT part of things in a gold mining company."
"Oh, definitely. IT is just as good as dentistry." I echo. "Gold mining company? That's really cool.'
Taxi driver 2 chuckles. "I thought he'd get paid in gold nuggets, but all he gets that is gold is his gold visa card."
I LOVE puns. This man is pure GOLD.
"Well, as long as the company pays for the expenses on the visa card, I'd say that's just as good."
He laughs appreciatively. "They pay for his expenses if he goes overseas, so yes, it's still a very nice arrangement."
There's a pause before I ask if his daughter is still a pharmacist. And so we chat about pharmacy and finding an intern place. I swear, if all my future patients are as awesome as this man, I will be very happy.
When we arrive outside my flat, he checks the price on the meter (which is $15.60). I pull out a $20 note and he rummages around for change. "I'll give you a discount,-"
"- Oh, that's not necessary," I interrupt.
"No, no. I only give discounts to pretty girls. If you're ugly, I rip you off." He cackles as he hands me back $15.
I thank him and wish him a good evening as I get out of the car.
So, trilingual taxi drivers are now pretty high up on my list of awesome.
Also, I had two incredibly amusing conversations with taxi drivers.
First conversation:
"Where are you from?" (actually, I think most people ask this of me as a conversational starter).
And seeing as taxi driver 1 looks relatively Asian (I'm allowed to make stereotypes), I answer that I come from Hong Kong. I also sneak a furtive look at his ID card, which tells me that his last name is Chang. Which is odd because his accent is decidedly not from China. So I politely ask him where he is from.
He is from Korea.
What I took away from this encounter: all Asians speak English with a different accent. And Chang is a Korean surname.
Taxi driver 1 has been taking health scis all morning to the first UMAT session and asks if I'm a health sci (which I hurriedly correct... for all people out there who do not know what a health sci is, these are first year university students who are taking health science, and who all think first year health science is equivalent to pre med. They are also the most annoying undergrads on the face of the planet).
After finishing that conversation snippet of why I am doing UMAT when I am not a health sci, the atmosphere in the car grows slightly awkward as you can tell that both of us are trying to think of some conversational starter. Eventually, we end up talking about the snow that fell on Sunday. And then we arrive. Taxi driver 1 wishes me good luck and drives away cheerfully.
Getting out of the car, I run into my current almost lover's/not-quite-ex's/once-every-two-monthly-boyfriend's fan club. Ughhhhhhhhhh. But I smirk anyway because facades and appearances are important.
Taxi driver 2:
He pulls up and lets me in. He is also a cute little Asian man. Once again, I get asked the same question. "Where are you from?"
At this point, I am tired and hungry... so I stutter somewhat when I reply. "Like, c-country wise?"
"Yes, country." He gives me a sideways look that could be interpreted as "Duh".
"Oh, I'm from Hong Kong."
"Hong Kong, shang gang, eh?" (shang gang = Hong Kong in Mandarin)
I nod.
"Oh, ni ke bu ke yi shou zhong wen?" (i.e. can you speak Chinese?)
"Yi dian dian." (i.e. a little). I ready myself for a torrent of Mandarin because generally when Chinese people realise you understand Chinese, they usually spout out tenmilliongazillionwordspersecond. And this puts me on the edge because my Mandarin is absolutely shit.
But to my surprise, he simply says "That's very good. Many Chinese in Western countries can't speak Chinese any more."
I hide any sign of surprise in my next question. "Oh, so you are from China... Hong Kong..." I trail off.
His reply stuns me. "No. I am from Korea."
I don't bother hiding my awe. "Wow. And you learnt Chinese? That's fantastic."
"I learnt it so I can read Chinese novels."
This man is legendary.
"Is Chinese similar to Korean?" I ask conversationally.
He shakes his head emphatically. "No. The two are very different. Korean and Japanese however, are quite similar syntactically."
Taxi driver 2 just earned fifty more points upon the use of the word 'syntactically'.
But taxi driver 2 doesn't seem to feel the same awe that I do as he sighs rather resigned. "I can read it, but when I speak it... mei you ren ke yi dong" (i.e. no one can understand me).
I try to placate him. "Oh, no. You speak it just fine. Your Mandarin is ten times better than mine. I can't even read Chinese."
I forgot what he said at this point. But somehow the conversation changes and he asks me if I'm a health sci... which I also hurriedly correct.
"A pharmacy student, eh?" He nods somewhat approvingly. "My daughter studied pharmacy. She wanted to do dentistry, but I told her, 'Why do you want to be a dentist? You don't want to spend the rest of your life looking into dirty mouths'."
I laugh appreciatively. There is no love lost between the School of Dentistry and the School of Pharmacy. Actually, we generally have nothing to do with each other simply because we're physically so far away from each other.
Taxi driver 2 continues. "So I tell her, study pharmacy instead and marry a dentist."
This elicits a genuine laugh from me because this comment is so much like what my friends and I would say to each other.
But he hasn't finished. "My daughter failed at that second part. She married an IT boy instead."
I try to think of a polite way of saying that IT men have nice salaries too. But taxi driver 2 gets there first. "Oh, but I still like him. IT is a good career too. He is a manager for the IT part of things in a gold mining company."
"Oh, definitely. IT is just as good as dentistry." I echo. "Gold mining company? That's really cool.'
Taxi driver 2 chuckles. "I thought he'd get paid in gold nuggets, but all he gets that is gold is his gold visa card."
I LOVE puns. This man is pure GOLD.
"Well, as long as the company pays for the expenses on the visa card, I'd say that's just as good."
He laughs appreciatively. "They pay for his expenses if he goes overseas, so yes, it's still a very nice arrangement."
There's a pause before I ask if his daughter is still a pharmacist. And so we chat about pharmacy and finding an intern place. I swear, if all my future patients are as awesome as this man, I will be very happy.
When we arrive outside my flat, he checks the price on the meter (which is $15.60). I pull out a $20 note and he rummages around for change. "I'll give you a discount,-"
"- Oh, that's not necessary," I interrupt.
"No, no. I only give discounts to pretty girls. If you're ugly, I rip you off." He cackles as he hands me back $15.
I thank him and wish him a good evening as I get out of the car.
So, trilingual taxi drivers are now pretty high up on my list of awesome.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Five
Would you continue to invest in a low profit, high risk investment? What if there really is better out there and your perceived end point is distorted because all you've ever known is this single end point?
Be careful when treading the shallows because you may just fall in deeper than you had ever intended.
I hope you won't disappoint me... but I feel like you probably will anyway.
Almost lovers always do.
Be careful when treading the shallows because you may just fall in deeper than you had ever intended.
I hope you won't disappoint me... but I feel like you probably will anyway.
Almost lovers always do.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Four
Aaaaargh. Is it totally necessary to have the volume of your television turned up so bloody loud that the floor of the flat above you vibrates?!
On another note, heavy snow meant no class today. Oh hooray. More time to cram in UMAT study.
On another note, heavy snow meant no class today. Oh hooray. More time to cram in UMAT study.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Three
A hand holding your own whilst walking through the snow is the only antidote to the biting cold.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty Two
It never fails to amuse me how my textbook uses Oxford commas. I'm sorry, oh Oxford comma. It just looks far more aesthetically pleasing not using you. That, and my primary school teacher drilled me out of the habit.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty One
Dear Salivary glands,
Please stop excessively salivating when I am excited or incredibly chuffed. Otherwise people near me will need umbrellas.
Many thanks,
G.
Please stop excessively salivating when I am excited or incredibly chuffed. Otherwise people near me will need umbrellas.
Many thanks,
G.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Fifty
Dear Ulcer on the tip of my tongue,
Please heal. I have a presentation tomorrow and I really would appreciate it if I didn't have to lisp my way through it.
Regards,
The rest of the body.
Please heal. I have a presentation tomorrow and I really would appreciate it if I didn't have to lisp my way through it.
Regards,
The rest of the body.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Nine
Ah... the apprehension and fear of one who is desperately seeking an intern site.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Eight
Dear Somebody-Out-There,
I hope you will love me as much as Snape loved Lily.
Yours sincerely,
Me.
I hope you will love me as much as Snape loved Lily.
Yours sincerely,
Me.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Seven
Dear Idiots who sit at the back of the lecture theatre,
Kindly shut the hell up.
Yours sincerely,
People who actually want to learn.
Kindly shut the hell up.
Yours sincerely,
People who actually want to learn.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Six
... Or my attempt at trying not to appear to eager backfired on me. Either way, I feel much better about things now.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Five
Is it considered rude to start a conversation with someone, a conversation that you have no intention of continuing? Because somehow, I find that incredibly bad mannered.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty Three and Forty Four
My new phone is like a sparkly thing that distracts me.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty One
Dear Heart,
You are an ass. Well, your non logical thinking alter ego is. Please desist from having your head in the clouds and get back down to earth. Stop treating him like your boyfriend because he is clearly not your boyfriend. Also, stop sighing over him because nothing about this situation is romantic. We aren't a pair of star crossed lovers like Katniss and Peeta. In fact, if he was like Peeta, he would've converted to Christianity in a wink. And do this right now, otherwise you'll end up crowding him in again and look where it got you last time.
Much love (see the irony here?),
Head.
You are an ass. Well, your non logical thinking alter ego is. Please desist from having your head in the clouds and get back down to earth. Stop treating him like your boyfriend because he is clearly not your boyfriend. Also, stop sighing over him because nothing about this situation is romantic. We aren't a pair of star crossed lovers like Katniss and Peeta. In fact, if he was like Peeta, he would've converted to Christianity in a wink. And do this right now, otherwise you'll end up crowding him in again and look where it got you last time.
Much love (see the irony here?),
Head.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Forty
There are these words you say,
but where are your actions?
Don't just say it.
Show me.
But of course, you don't have the duty to gratify my wishes and such. So yes, bottom line. I wish you never told me that you still loved me. Because then I would stop expecting anything from you.
but where are your actions?
Don't just say it.
Show me.
But of course, you don't have the duty to gratify my wishes and such. So yes, bottom line. I wish you never told me that you still loved me. Because then I would stop expecting anything from you.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Nine
I wish I don't have to second guess his actions and figure out his motives. I wish I don't have to cautiously approach him in case I cross any lines.
Oh, but wait. He doesn't have to worry if he's crossing lines because this river flows only in one direction...
... and it's not in my direction.
I wonder, what is the point of this? Gratifying our feelings? And yet, I still have nightmares of him moving on. Then I know that this uncertainty is but a small price to pay.
Oh, but wait. He doesn't have to worry if he's crossing lines because this river flows only in one direction...
... and it's not in my direction.
I wonder, what is the point of this? Gratifying our feelings? And yet, I still have nightmares of him moving on. Then I know that this uncertainty is but a small price to pay.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Eight
Just when I think that I can live without you, you pull me in again. To what end?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Seven
You breathed life into my lungs,
and now my heart begins to beat.
And you, you disappear again.
Only now do you make me stir;
but when I finally open my eyes,
you're gone, gone like the wind.
I try to hold onto the calm serenity,
but you have set my world alight
once more.
and now my heart begins to beat.
And you, you disappear again.
Only now do you make me stir;
but when I finally open my eyes,
you're gone, gone like the wind.
I try to hold onto the calm serenity,
but you have set my world alight
once more.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Six
Totally worth it. Also, now that something else happened, I am now only stressed about finding a place for next year.
Ideally, I would want to remain in the South Island. But as I have realised, he lost the right to be considered in my plans for my future when he chose Christchurch. As he said, ironically, this entire whatever-you-call-this-arrangement is going better than a long distance relationship. The question is, if I am based in the North Island next year, what will happen?
Either he realises that he can live without me or he can't.
Ideally, I would want to remain in the South Island. But as I have realised, he lost the right to be considered in my plans for my future when he chose Christchurch. As he said, ironically, this entire whatever-you-call-this-arrangement is going better than a long distance relationship. The question is, if I am based in the North Island next year, what will happen?
Either he realises that he can live without me or he can't.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Four and Thirty Five
Six hours helping him do ethics? Completely and utterly worth it.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Three
Baby, you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love
Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
Tell me what to do, to take away the you
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
- 'Sort Of' - Ingrid Michaelson
p.s. people in Wellington should harden the fuck up over a minor jolt.
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love
Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
Tell me what to do, to take away the you
And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again
- 'Sort Of' - Ingrid Michaelson
p.s. people in Wellington should harden the fuck up over a minor jolt.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Thirty Two
Screw this shit. I'm so over it all. At this rate, I'd be better off becoming a friggin housewife.
Day Two Hundred and Thirty One
That was fairly interesting.
Also development/reminder: FLOWERS for GRADUATION.
Also development/reminder: FLOWERS for GRADUATION.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day Two Hundred and Twenty Nine
This bemuses me greatly:
So I did my placement at a pharmacy. They volunteered their time for a week to have a useless extern trundle along and wreck havoc. By the end of the placement, they give said extern a voucher for $60 at a bookstore.
Understand my confusion?
So I did my placement at a pharmacy. They volunteered their time for a week to have a useless extern trundle along and wreck havoc. By the end of the placement, they give said extern a voucher for $60 at a bookstore.
Understand my confusion?
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