Why do I bother helping him so much? And I highly doubt that it's because I'm a nice person.
Also, I like it when I'm right. I should go buy myself something, had I money, to celebrate. Pity I can't gloat about it... but all honesty, it is very, very tempting. Especially since said person which this tidbit is about said that I need to 'get myself some action'. Well, honey, seeing as I've been in a stable relationship for two years without the need to 'go and get some action' unlike you, pretty sure I don't need it now.
Oh, sweetheart. If you want a fight, I'm pretty sure I'd win.
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