#detox

As much as I love being home (as soon as I stepped foot into my cold flat, I missed home even more terribly). But what I do enjoy about living away from home is independence over what I can eat and basically, the ability to hermit in my room and do my own shit. And this means that I can detox from this week of eating sooooo much everyday. Granted - most of it was healthy, but even huge amounts of salmon and avocado cannot be good for you.

So a two weeks of vegetables and ab exercises here we come...

#lifedecisions

Ah, retail therapy. Life is good.
- striped top: tick
- ankle strap wedges: tick
- tea: tick (multiple)
- glasses: tick

Honestly, these holidays have only further highlighted how shit in comparison life is back down south. I'm just gonna say it: I'm 80% sure that I want to come back here for my clinical years. What is weird is the fact that I've made a life decision that affects someone else - namely E. But I think I've made the right decision - being closer to my family is a definite bonus, especially with my mother's health and disabled brother turning into a surly teenager. I mean that literally - he actually ignores you if you try and talk to him, which is funny because I'd expect a normal seventeen year old boy to be sullen and shit, except he looks like he's eight or something.
Another example: when I got back from the airport and was putting my suitcase into the boot of the car (our car is a hatchback, so the back is connected with the boot), he was sitting in his booster seat and mum was like "Say hi," and my kid (sorry, teenage) brother simply stuck his hand up in the air and was like "Hi," without even turning around. I lol'd a wee bit internally because it's like a seventeen year old stuck in the body of an eight year old.
But I think my parents have been genuinely quite happy to have both my sister and I home for the holidays - even my normally emotionally reserved father has deigned to change his Facebook status, which is a bit cute. Except I obviously didn't tell him that.

What is even more weird is the fact that my parents are okay with the fact that I would like to flat with E. in my fifth year. They are also okay with me travelling with him. It was cute finding my mum trying to teach my brother how to say E.'s name and it just scared me slightly - like, this is it: you've made a decision for the rest of your life because your family has accepted him now too. Not that it's a bad thing - it was just like, whoa. Life decision made.

#fat

need. to. stop. eating. so. much.

i need to feel the hunger. my body is like wheeeeewarmfuzziestoomuchglucose

#home

I am happy (and warm - so, so warm). The contrast could not be greater. That is all.

#Easter

Ick. I feel so disgusting from all the sugar that I've consumed in the last six hours. M. and I had a pretty successful baking session - we made red velvet caramel brownies (which we were rather skeptical about because it involved blind baking a red velvet base, and then adding molten caramel - from melted caramels on top, before adding a final layer of red velvet which sort of melded in with the caramel), and of course because it's Easter - hot cross buns.

The brownie turned out well - but the only thing was the fact that recipe called for a box of red velvet cake mixture, which always is a bit average compared to making red velvet from scratch. The highlight was actually melting the caramels because we ended up with this molten golden goodness, which tasted amazing with frozen berries - a fondue of sorts, if you will. In fact, we probably ate more of the caramel than of the finished brownie product.

The hot cross buns were pretty good - a bit dense, but nothing a good blast from the microwave won't cure tomorrow morning. The recipe we used had major issues with liquid because the dough we ended up with was as dry as straw, so we ended up adding at least an extra half cup of milk. The dough still rose though - which was good, especially as the temperature outside was probably around 6 degrees celsius and I didn't have much faith in the heat pump warming up the ambient temperature inside the flat.
I had such a fun time with M. though and it was definitely worth the self discipline throughout the entire week.

On another note, I think it's still important to remember the reason why we get a day off on Good Friday.

#delayedgratification

Today's the day that M. and I make chocolate hot cross buns! I am excited. I've been fending off junk food this entire week in hopes that my binge-fest today will not bloat me like a hippopotamus.

Also, I went and bound my notes for the nervous system module and my inner nerd is like wheeeeeeeeeiwantstostudyallthetime

Also note to self: I double socked today and my feet were so toasty, even though it currently feels like 6 degrees celsius outside. 

#selfdisciplinegoodbyeeeee

Cold weather means that all I want to do is eat fatty carb-y meals and drink hot chocolates. It almost means that I am more reluctant to strip down to my gym gear and do my daily exercises. Except, I do derive some joy out of exercising in that I actually get warm because my room is the coldest out of the four in the flat - my Raynaud's is a bitch. I actually cannot feel my feet sometimes. 

But I will not be tempted to increase my intake because it will be a slippery s l o    p      e. I gained about a kilo this weekend from the amount of food that I ate with E. and it's taken me a day to get rid of it and go back to where I was, which makes me think that most of the weight gain was from being bloated/fluid retention. So thereeeee, junk food is bad for you. Also, I felt pretty icky for a day or so. A little part of me is slightly glad that we're probably doing long distance for another year because I swear, the moment we start living together in the same city, my waistline will expand again.

I'm actually quite surprised that given the amount that I ate and the lack of exercise that I was only six kilos heavier 

I take that back. That is a lot... I refuse to get to those proportions again.