Day Hundred and Five AND Hundred and Six

So he wasn't there to meet me. But he did eat dinner with me, amongst other things :)
It's odd. I wasn't expecting to see him when I got back and I knew it would be hard coming back because everything here reminds me of him. And it was difficult when I arrived. It was difficult waiting for him to text me to tell me that he wanted to meet up. But now looking back, I wish I could go back to that instant again, when we were sitting on the opposite sides of my room and he just asked for a hug. And then the hug... and then that kiss. And then the affirmation that he still felt the very, very same way as he did, a hundred and six days ago. But now I need to put my emotions back into that little box that I had crammed them into during the holidays. Not because I don't want to think about him. But because that's the only way I'm going to be able to function.

Day Hundred and Four

Reality check for myself: please do remember that you are no longer going out. Therefore do not daydream of a joyful reunion when you enter the arrivals part. In fact, you will be lucky enough if he is standing there. In fact, you will think it lucky if he even considers texting you to meet up.

Hope burns eternal,
but it scars my heart
and leaves my soul
charred and black.

Day Hundred and Three

Saturday, Saturday, my heart.

Day Hundred and Two

He IS coming home!

He may even be there to pick me up from the airport when I arrive.



:)

Day Hundred and One

My heart is in Christchurch.
Come back home to Dunedin.

Day Hundred

April, you are so far away.

Day Ninety Nine

He called me!
I had resigned myself to not talking to him for awhile... and then he calls me when he has a spare moment (i.e. when he's walking back home from the hospital late at night).
And despite your efforts to downplay it, I still feel very, very special.



:) :) :)