#mindnumb

Psych med is soul destroying. I'm sorry, but I could neverevereverevereverever do psych med. It just bores me to tears. Opthalmology on the other hand, is pretty neat.

Note to self: zucchini pasta! I am excited.

#contented

There's just something so relaxing, even though you're not talking, sitting side by side reading. I'm really enjoying seeing E. once a month - which is quite a luxury because all throughout fourth year, my intern year and last year, we'd probably see each other once every two months at the very best. I suppose it's part of the secret to staying so happy - we don't really take each other's company for granted.

We also had crab yesterday evening and it is such an impossible food to eat politely. We gave up almost five minutes in and exposed ourselves to the world as severely lacking in table manners. Which was ironic, because we were sitting by the window and prior to our food arriving, had been judging the classy inebriated souls who were staggering past in several states of dishevelledness. Anyway, eating the crab involved tearing off each the claws/pincers/nippybits and sucking whatever flesh there was out. Except, I sort of failed when I tried to tear off one of the claws because it flew up into the air and hit E. squarely in the eye. It was amusing. What wasn't so amusing was how E. gave up on using his utensils entirely and decided to scoop the salsa sauce that was bathing the crab with his fingers. Also, funny part - when some of the salsa ended up on E's top, he tried licking it off and ended up looking like a dog.
So important life lesson learnt: do not order crab when in polite company. As the waitress said, thankfully this was not our first date.

#wintersoupreflections

Made mishmash soup. It was pretty awesome. I will dub it March soup in honour of the fact that I needed it. In March.

It was actually just what I was craving on a cold day. For my own future reference

- preliminary fry up of an onion, celery and carrot with garlic

- add in dried coriander, cumin and paprika 

- in a pot, boil the contents of two cans of canned tomatoes, two cups of water and two XO chicken stock cubes

- add the vegetables (shouldn't be cooked completely at this point) to the contents in the pot

- add some garam masala and more paprika, plus salt to taste

- add some chopped mushrooms

- reduce soup by boiling off water to a point that you think the consistency is thick-ish

- add a few sprigs of fresh coriander

- add 3/4 cup of couscous and let it boil for a bit, then remove from heat

I had a thought provoking conversation with my flatmate and it gave me cause to ponder. I have always laughed at the prospect of myself becoming anorexic given the fact that 

a) I love eating far too much

b) I lack the self discipline to not eat at all

But anyway, her question was "How often do you think about or worry about what you eat during a day?" 

Now, I don't really calorie count exactly, but I will admit that I do think about what I am eating or what I am going to eat more than I used to. I don't think I could ever stop eating, but I do think I put in more of an effort thinking about meals that are healthier. What her question made me think was the fact that (well, for me) there's a fine line between thinking about eating healthily and obsessing over my intake of the day. I don't think there's an issue about not stuffing myself full and stopping myself from snacking unnecessarily during the day, but it's a slippery slope from this to having an unhealthy relationship with food. I do admit to having a slightly more than irrational fear of gaining weight again and it don't want it to be the impetus for me to slide down that slope. I think it's important (for myself at least), to not focus on not becoming anorexic, but rather to establish an understanding within myself about eating. Because let's face it... I don't want to take a year off because I've managed to work myself into an eating disorder. I want to bloody finish this medical degree and begin life. 

#braceyourselfwinteriscoming

AND IT'S ONLY MARCH. M A R C H.

what the fuck. I almost want to turn the heat pump on and the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that it's fucking March. And it's not meant to be hailing and shit at this time of year.

#baileys

Anything with chocolate and bailey's is amazing.

#Eisapimp

I love dating a doctor. Well, actually - I just like dating someone as generous as E, whose automatic reaction is literally "I'll pay for it". Except I am not letting him spend money on me because he should save it for Campbell. Also, working till 11pm once a week is pretty horrific. The thought is more valuable than the actual monetary value.

I'm glad we're moving away from child development in case because I must be underwhelming my tutor. I swear he expects more answers from me but I literally don't know anything about normal child development because my own sense is so skewed from watching my brother develop. For me, it is a wonder that he understands me, that he can walk around the house and kick a ball. That's something people take for granted from a four year old. The day he learned to walk at the age of eight was bloody awesome. When he stopped dribbling, that was pretty cool too. Oh, and I'm not still over the fact that he's finally toilet trained. I'm sorry that I don't know much about normal developmental milestones, but I'm pretty proud of the ones my brother's reached.

#differentialdiagnosispls

Sooo reoccurring numbness in the middle finger on my right hand. Sometimes on the fingertip only, sometimes if it lasts long enough, it extends to cover the entirety of the digit.
It seems to only come on when I'm cold and/or flexing my wrists/elbow. I still haven't quite worked out if flexing my wrists actually brings on the numbness. I have noticed that when I'm cold, my fingertip starts to go numb, which makes me think that it's more a vascular problem rather neurological. That being said, the regions supplied by my ulnar nerve are feeling funny. Which is retarded because the median nerve supplies my middle finger. Yay, I love getting relevant problems just when we've started studying the nervous system. First, a migraine and now, this -ihopeyouhearthesarcasm-

So differential diagnosis:
- Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: which works sort of because the median nerve supplies my middle finger. But then I'd notice numbness over my index and thumb too. Also, Phalen's test doesn't bring on an episode
- Raynaud's: it comes on when I'm cold. But I don't notice my finger going particularly pale or blue. It does seem to lose some colour, but not to the extent that I'd expect it to. Also, I've never had an issue with cold intolerance before - although that being said, my toes do go numb on the occasion. But verrrrrry verrrry occasionally. And running my hand under hot water seems to reverse the numbness
- Cubital Tunnel Compression: doesn't explain the middle finger because the ulnar nerve is affected. Except my ring finger and little finger do feel slightly funny. And I've been doing side prone holds, which I've noticed brings on numbness to my whole hand in general. Must pay attention to which digits in particular the next time I do it
- spinal root problem: the dermatome supplying the middle finger is supplied by C7... I don't think anything's wrong with C7...

Funnily enough, the very first differential diagnosis that sprang to mind was vitamin B12 deficiency in the light of the fact that uh, I don't seem to be consuming meat often. Except I eat tuna almost every day... so that doesn't make sense, and recently I started eating eggs. AND I EAT MARMITE EVERY DAY. But anyway, I had to have a look at my tongue in the mirror. I don't think I see atrophic glossitis... aaaarghmedstudentsyndome.