I am a horrible person.

Need. To. Stop. Toying. With. People's. Feelings.



Also would appreciate it if vegetables make an appearance with my dinner. This may force me to go and eat some fruit because I'm afraid that constipation may be imminent.

Oh, and by the way nombre, you ain't foolin' nobody by closing your door. Might just turn my music up so I avoid hearing any untoward noises...





postscript: I think I just caught them showering together. dfkjsdflkjsdfkjldsfkjl
Shuddering aside, blackmailing material? DEFINITELY. 

Arse is now approximately the size of Beyonce's. Bordering on the size of one of those moonhoppery things that we used to sit on when we were kids.

(just in case you don't remember)

So, I started visiting the gym three times a week. And have weighed myself in the vain hope that within three weeks (and yes, it has been exactly 3 weeks since starting on the 19th of June) of starting my thrice-weekly visits that something might have happened. Alas, no such results yet. 

And my arse muscles hurt. So something should happen. I live in hope that one day I shall wake up and my arse will have shrunken enough so that I may fit my jeans again. 

No no no no no nononononononono.

You SILLY boy. I didn't realise that you had bought me diamonds.



Now I HAVE to read over your essays.
And I am officially a mega-bitch.

So I've decided that I should stop buying clothes. Because it is now to the point that I cannot wear everything at least once. Same goes for nail polish.

Today the pipes were frozen over at work so we had no water. Needless to say, I was immensely amused. Especially since I left the house without voiding my bladder because I was running late.

Have also decided I am refusing to write any more essays.

Also have decided that driving on icy roads are scary. And that for some inexplicable reason, I STILL dislike HER. Even though she's miles away in the North Island. After much thought, I still can't think of a proper reason as to why I resent her so much. Perhaps it's the name. I seem to dislike everyone who has that name. Except that reason is not a particularly good one.
Bah, she's not worth the neurons firing.

I also dislike hermaphroditic couples who are adjoined at the hip.





...I am such a bitch.

Oh, the dreams we have. For house with a room that has a wall made completely of windows. A grand piano sitting in the observatory. A house with a backyard for the dog. Gas powered stoves. If only they were plans and not dreams.

I wish I was British.

Oh, stop it. I am ever so amused. Why do people insist on posting their heart on their facebook profile page. The saying of "wearing one's heart on one's sleeve" is rather outdated. The stupid thing is that now everyone can see, not just you and your (unfortunate) other half. The only love I show publicly is my love for Sherlock Holmes. . . . . . Please don't make me vomit in my mouth with your affection. Besides, it'd just be embarrassing if you were to cheat on your beloved whilst abroad. Or fall for your boyfriend's best friend. Or move on after two months. Oh, scratch that, there's two people who have moved on in a shockingly little amount of time. Mind you, with the second person, it's been surprisingly slow. I'd made an internal bet that said person would've cheated on her boyfriend while she was back home.