#iwanttobewbusby

I have my role model. I want to be like Dr. W. Busby. She is intimidating, terrifying, knowledgeable and all-round, scary as fuck. But she demands your attention because she has this way of engaging your learning. In a way, she reminds me of my high school chemistry teacher, Ms. Aupa'au. Except ten times scarier because she'll call you out in front of the whole med class. Also, she has an amazing physique for a lady in her mid fifties (that's a rough estimate). I must've spent half the lecture scared as fuck and the other half admiring her biceps. But I want to be like that... to know my stuff and to scare hapless med students (all while in the process of teaching them). Also, she's a consultant in geriatrics - an area which I've always been interested in.
Anyway, in today's lecture, she was strolling - no, marching up and down the aisles demanding answers from the class about risk factors of stroke. I have to say, I felt pretty stoked when she asked what the subset of the population were more at risk, and then when no one answered, I finally yelled out "Diabetics,", and when she followed it up with another question about the target systolic blood pressure for them (compared to the rest of the general populace), I actually knew the answer, thanks to browsing through the NZ Cardiovascular Guidelines when I was an intern.

omg i'm gassy from all that alcohol i've been drinking. my flatmate and i made our own Bailey's Cream
-interlude wherein i run to the bathroom-
i must've released at least 300mL of fluid just then. but i feel great now because before, my abdomen was soooo rigid. and whilst on the crapper, i could feel the peristalsis. that was honestly such a satisfying bowel motion.

Anyway... yes, my flatmate and I made our own Bailey's Cream. Incredibly unhealthy - also, I didn't realise that it had such a strong alcoholic sting to it. Noob, I know, but I suppose because I've been mixing it with hot chocolates and coffees, I couldn't really taste the alcohol in it.

Today must be the day for trying out recipes. I finally tried the zucchini pasta with avocado pesto. It was actually really easy and I added in some mushrooms and cashew nuts just to add some texture. The first bite was divine - but towards the end, I was basically forcing it down because it got so damn rich. So I think for next time, I'll only add half the amount of olive oil to it because it got quite slick. But definitely, zucchini pasta is an option should I ever have cravings for pasta/pasta sauce. It was so simple: just put your grater on its side and grate away. I might branch out and try different sauces though. Time to rummage through Pinterest...

#mozart

It is so satisfying studying while listening to some decent Mozart pieces. And yes, while I am fully aware that Mozart lived some fifty/sixty years before Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice, I maintain that it feels like I'm some sort of period drama when I listen to it. I'd like to think that's because the composer for the soundtrack got inspiration from some of Mozart's pieces.

Yesterday in our humanities elective, we had to discuss our aspirations once we left med school. Everyone else wanted to go overseas and work for a bit. My aspiration was to "Finish med school as soon as possible and give birth". My classmates must think I am the most uninspired and small minded person... the dream is literally to become a GP and still have a 9 to 5 job. And I shit you not, that sounds so incredibly enticing.

Also, sizing in Country Road is shocking. I'm sorry, but your sizes are verging on American ridiculous. I am by no means tinier than most of the population in New Zealand. In fact, I think I'm still within average. And it is ridiculous that their smallest size (which is a 4) does not fit. I dislike how New Zealand stores are constantly upscaling their sizes. Back in the day, sizes used to run true and the last time I checked, I was not a 4. Another reason why the British do it better. Thank you Asos, I am a true 8. And this whole size 4 business at Country road is ridiculous. The end.

#mindnumb

Psych med is soul destroying. I'm sorry, but I could neverevereverevereverever do psych med. It just bores me to tears. Opthalmology on the other hand, is pretty neat.

Note to self: zucchini pasta! I am excited.

#contented

There's just something so relaxing, even though you're not talking, sitting side by side reading. I'm really enjoying seeing E. once a month - which is quite a luxury because all throughout fourth year, my intern year and last year, we'd probably see each other once every two months at the very best. I suppose it's part of the secret to staying so happy - we don't really take each other's company for granted.

We also had crab yesterday evening and it is such an impossible food to eat politely. We gave up almost five minutes in and exposed ourselves to the world as severely lacking in table manners. Which was ironic, because we were sitting by the window and prior to our food arriving, had been judging the classy inebriated souls who were staggering past in several states of dishevelledness. Anyway, eating the crab involved tearing off each the claws/pincers/nippybits and sucking whatever flesh there was out. Except, I sort of failed when I tried to tear off one of the claws because it flew up into the air and hit E. squarely in the eye. It was amusing. What wasn't so amusing was how E. gave up on using his utensils entirely and decided to scoop the salsa sauce that was bathing the crab with his fingers. Also, funny part - when some of the salsa ended up on E's top, he tried licking it off and ended up looking like a dog.
So important life lesson learnt: do not order crab when in polite company. As the waitress said, thankfully this was not our first date.

#wintersoupreflections

Made mishmash soup. It was pretty awesome. I will dub it March soup in honour of the fact that I needed it. In March.

It was actually just what I was craving on a cold day. For my own future reference

- preliminary fry up of an onion, celery and carrot with garlic

- add in dried coriander, cumin and paprika 

- in a pot, boil the contents of two cans of canned tomatoes, two cups of water and two XO chicken stock cubes

- add the vegetables (shouldn't be cooked completely at this point) to the contents in the pot

- add some garam masala and more paprika, plus salt to taste

- add some chopped mushrooms

- reduce soup by boiling off water to a point that you think the consistency is thick-ish

- add a few sprigs of fresh coriander

- add 3/4 cup of couscous and let it boil for a bit, then remove from heat

I had a thought provoking conversation with my flatmate and it gave me cause to ponder. I have always laughed at the prospect of myself becoming anorexic given the fact that 

a) I love eating far too much

b) I lack the self discipline to not eat at all

But anyway, her question was "How often do you think about or worry about what you eat during a day?" 

Now, I don't really calorie count exactly, but I will admit that I do think about what I am eating or what I am going to eat more than I used to. I don't think I could ever stop eating, but I do think I put in more of an effort thinking about meals that are healthier. What her question made me think was the fact that (well, for me) there's a fine line between thinking about eating healthily and obsessing over my intake of the day. I don't think there's an issue about not stuffing myself full and stopping myself from snacking unnecessarily during the day, but it's a slippery slope from this to having an unhealthy relationship with food. I do admit to having a slightly more than irrational fear of gaining weight again and it don't want it to be the impetus for me to slide down that slope. I think it's important (for myself at least), to not focus on not becoming anorexic, but rather to establish an understanding within myself about eating. Because let's face it... I don't want to take a year off because I've managed to work myself into an eating disorder. I want to bloody finish this medical degree and begin life. 

#braceyourselfwinteriscoming

AND IT'S ONLY MARCH. M A R C H.

what the fuck. I almost want to turn the heat pump on and the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that it's fucking March. And it's not meant to be hailing and shit at this time of year.

#baileys

Anything with chocolate and bailey's is amazing.