#feelingblessed

Oh, E. You are the bee's knees. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

#yeahanatomy

Felt a bit nauseated today - but it was probably due to me ingesting laxsol because I decided that two days was long enough without passing a bowel motion. And while it was fairly successful as it always is at evacuating my colon, I'm pretty sure I emptied the entirety of my colon. So when I got to the dissection room, I felt rather faint and didn't really feel like dissection. But our cadaver provided such an interesting experience that I perked up immensely.

Lungs are amazing structures. And the lungs of someone with emphysema feel quite different to the lungs of a healthy individual. Also, we felt masses in the lungs of our cadaver, and when we got to divide the lungs, we saw a mass that had a different consistency and colour to the rest of the tissue.

Tomorrow we get to open up the mediastinum and expose the heart. Excitement!

#we'reeven

I think E. and I are fairly even now. Over the course of our relationship, he has brushed my teeth and washed my hair. On Saturday night, I had the pleasure of cleaning up his vomit and then spoon fed him over Sunday because he was too weak.

I don't really have a tolerance for vomit - I remember on car rides as a kid, my sister used to puke and I would literally have to curl up into a ball in the corner and mouth breathe because the smell used to make me gag. Except I was surprisingly okay dealing with the contents of E.'s stomach - which he had managed to get in the sink and not the toilet. So it meant bailing it out of the sink and into the toilet bowl.

But hey, that's true love - being able to stomach the contents of my other half's stomach.

Before he hurled, we had a rather good day. I look forward to the day when we can wind down together with a corgi in my lap, a wine glass in one hand and a book in the other, while listening to Andrea Bocelli. Actually, we are totes going to do that in the summer - it sounds like such a relaxing end to the day.

So while this visit seemed rather short even though he actually stayed an extra night, I have learnt that I can tolerate vomit (which is an important skill to have in life if one plans to have children). And that once again, E.'s generosity knows no limits.

Sorry ladies, but you were idiots for turning this one down before I came along coughstolehim. But hey, no backsies.

#future

So it looks like I am definitely heading back home next year - not that there was much doubt over that anyway given that the clinical school I picked has a reputation for having substandard teaching compared to the other clinical schools, hence the low popularity amongst the third year medical students. But I think learning has more to do with your own attitude and motivation to learn - and if I stay motivated, my learning should hopefully not be affected by whatever clinical school I choose to attend.

I am excited by the people who are coming with me. At first I had some reservations about leaving my most of my friends behind - but it turns out that a large majority of people who I really get along with in my tute groups and labs are coming too.

Everything has just sort of gone downhill from neuro. I really enjoyed neuro - like reaaaally enjoyed it and so everything just seems kind of boring in comparison. Why did I start on this tangent? Oh, yes - so anyway, our timetable so far has been full of public health lectures and short labs, so I've had a lot of down time to daydream (or rather, plan - which makes it sound slightly more productive). Ever since M. told me that she's moving in with J. next year, it makes me more excited about moving in with E. in a year's time. I am slightly envious, given the fact that I still have to wait another year and well, E. and I have been in a relationship for five years (whineeeee). But at the same time, I can see why it makes sense for them to move in together and she practically lives here - sometimes I wish that she would move in permanently because she helps keep the place clean because sometimes, cleaning up after two boys by myself can get rather tiresome. And she leaves the toilet seat down like it is supposed to be.

Anyway! I digress. Downtime means that I've been looking at rental properties for E. and I in a year's time and yesterday, we got talking about it briefly. E. was like, well - as much as I have the money for us to live in a nice place, it'd make more sense not to live like kings because I'd rather save the money for us to buy a house.

A house! I cannot describe what kind of thrill ran down my spine. I suppose it's because for half of our relationship, we didn't really dare or rather, there was no point in planning anything beyond two years. The thrill of actually being able to do so clearly has not worn off yet.

#1200

a page of numbers everyday,
everything is a sum to make
the perfect number one two.
three sets of numbers a day
to make a perfect sum to take
and two ones make a two.
if my own numbers add up
to those perfect digits then
why am i still unhappy for you?

#sixteendollars

I wasted $16 today. $8 because I broke it. And then another $8 because I simply had to know, even though I was 95% sure that I probably didn't need to spend $8.

That's four coffees. F O U R.

gdfkjdjkdfgkjldfg

Also, my parents sent me another care package with avocado. Which tasted awesome when diced with some tomato, hummus and tuna. And I couldn't resist thinking as I was noming it down that if I had told my seven year old self that one day I would enjoy eating tomato and avocado, I would have told my twenty three year old self to sod off. Also, tofu and durian (just like custard. But fruity and perhaps slightly healthier. Just a whole lot more smelly). And fish. And asparagus. But only if the latter is steamed slightly and served with a teensy bit of butter.

And finally managed to do a full workout today after being invalided for a week and it feels so good having sore muscles again.

#mymumisawesome

Why my mum dominates yours: she sent me soup in the mail! Kumara, carrot and onion soup.

Exactly what I've been craving in my sickness induced stupor.

#flu

Ughhhh I hate viral infections. My limbs feel like lead and my brain is brain fogged. And worst of all, I can't exercise.

dfgkfgkjldfgsjkfgjkdfgsjkl.

And I'm not that much of an idiot to deprive myself of food because not getting pneumonia currently ranks higher on the list of priorities.

I'm going vitamin C the shit out of it. And then commence exercise again. I kinda feel like going for a run or something for a change. Except probably five minutes in, I'll get super bored and wish that I had stuck to tabata. It feels so abnormal not doing exercise.

Come on CD8+ cells and do your shiz so I can go back and exercise.

#pharmacylove

Working full time for these past two weeks has been a refreshing break from study. While I complain that pharmacy can have a tendency to become rather monotonous, it is the patients that make it entirely worthwhile. It's so nice being able to have a genuine interaction with them, as opposed to highly structured OSCEs or awkward encounters in HIC where we try and understand how their illness affects their life and blahblahblah *coughfakeempathy*. It's a nice change being able to joke with them and to see how much they appreciate it when you go the extra mile. While work life has its own downsides such as needing to wake up every morning at 7am to fit in exercise and getting back home at 6:30pm, and then having only enough time to shower and cook dinner before it is time to sleep, I can also see the benefits. Well, mainly the money. And the feeling of knowing that I don't need to study.

Maybe I wasn't ready for work life two years ago or maybe I just needed a break because I felt a bit burnt out from semester one. Whatever it is, I've really appreciated working again. And now I almost don't want to give up my APC for next year. Except $1000 to keep practicing makes being a pharmacist a rather expensive hobby.