#detox

As much as I love being home (as soon as I stepped foot into my cold flat, I missed home even more terribly). But what I do enjoy about living away from home is independence over what I can eat and basically, the ability to hermit in my room and do my own shit. And this means that I can detox from this week of eating sooooo much everyday. Granted - most of it was healthy, but even huge amounts of salmon and avocado cannot be good for you.

So a two weeks of vegetables and ab exercises here we come...

#lifedecisions

Ah, retail therapy. Life is good.
- striped top: tick
- ankle strap wedges: tick
- tea: tick (multiple)
- glasses: tick

Honestly, these holidays have only further highlighted how shit in comparison life is back down south. I'm just gonna say it: I'm 80% sure that I want to come back here for my clinical years. What is weird is the fact that I've made a life decision that affects someone else - namely E. But I think I've made the right decision - being closer to my family is a definite bonus, especially with my mother's health and disabled brother turning into a surly teenager. I mean that literally - he actually ignores you if you try and talk to him, which is funny because I'd expect a normal seventeen year old boy to be sullen and shit, except he looks like he's eight or something.
Another example: when I got back from the airport and was putting my suitcase into the boot of the car (our car is a hatchback, so the back is connected with the boot), he was sitting in his booster seat and mum was like "Say hi," and my kid (sorry, teenage) brother simply stuck his hand up in the air and was like "Hi," without even turning around. I lol'd a wee bit internally because it's like a seventeen year old stuck in the body of an eight year old.
But I think my parents have been genuinely quite happy to have both my sister and I home for the holidays - even my normally emotionally reserved father has deigned to change his Facebook status, which is a bit cute. Except I obviously didn't tell him that.

What is even more weird is the fact that my parents are okay with the fact that I would like to flat with E. in my fifth year. They are also okay with me travelling with him. It was cute finding my mum trying to teach my brother how to say E.'s name and it just scared me slightly - like, this is it: you've made a decision for the rest of your life because your family has accepted him now too. Not that it's a bad thing - it was just like, whoa. Life decision made.

#fat

need. to. stop. eating. so. much.

i need to feel the hunger. my body is like wheeeeewarmfuzziestoomuchglucose

#home

I am happy (and warm - so, so warm). The contrast could not be greater. That is all.

#Easter

Ick. I feel so disgusting from all the sugar that I've consumed in the last six hours. M. and I had a pretty successful baking session - we made red velvet caramel brownies (which we were rather skeptical about because it involved blind baking a red velvet base, and then adding molten caramel - from melted caramels on top, before adding a final layer of red velvet which sort of melded in with the caramel), and of course because it's Easter - hot cross buns.

The brownie turned out well - but the only thing was the fact that recipe called for a box of red velvet cake mixture, which always is a bit average compared to making red velvet from scratch. The highlight was actually melting the caramels because we ended up with this molten golden goodness, which tasted amazing with frozen berries - a fondue of sorts, if you will. In fact, we probably ate more of the caramel than of the finished brownie product.

The hot cross buns were pretty good - a bit dense, but nothing a good blast from the microwave won't cure tomorrow morning. The recipe we used had major issues with liquid because the dough we ended up with was as dry as straw, so we ended up adding at least an extra half cup of milk. The dough still rose though - which was good, especially as the temperature outside was probably around 6 degrees celsius and I didn't have much faith in the heat pump warming up the ambient temperature inside the flat.
I had such a fun time with M. though and it was definitely worth the self discipline throughout the entire week.

On another note, I think it's still important to remember the reason why we get a day off on Good Friday.

#delayedgratification

Today's the day that M. and I make chocolate hot cross buns! I am excited. I've been fending off junk food this entire week in hopes that my binge-fest today will not bloat me like a hippopotamus.

Also, I went and bound my notes for the nervous system module and my inner nerd is like wheeeeeeeeeiwantstostudyallthetime

Also note to self: I double socked today and my feet were so toasty, even though it currently feels like 6 degrees celsius outside. 

#selfdisciplinegoodbyeeeee

Cold weather means that all I want to do is eat fatty carb-y meals and drink hot chocolates. It almost means that I am more reluctant to strip down to my gym gear and do my daily exercises. Except, I do derive some joy out of exercising in that I actually get warm because my room is the coldest out of the four in the flat - my Raynaud's is a bitch. I actually cannot feel my feet sometimes. 

But I will not be tempted to increase my intake because it will be a slippery s l o    p      e. I gained about a kilo this weekend from the amount of food that I ate with E. and it's taken me a day to get rid of it and go back to where I was, which makes me think that most of the weight gain was from being bloated/fluid retention. So thereeeee, junk food is bad for you. Also, I felt pretty icky for a day or so. A little part of me is slightly glad that we're probably doing long distance for another year because I swear, the moment we start living together in the same city, my waistline will expand again.

I'm actually quite surprised that given the amount that I ate and the lack of exercise that I was only six kilos heavier 

I take that back. That is a lot... I refuse to get to those proportions again. 

#published

So uh, if you google my name, you may eventually find an paper that I co-authored. It's funny because I don't derive that much joy from it, given that most of the work wasn't actually done by us in the end (we did the initial study, but most of the analysis was done in the follow-up). But hey, not everyone can claim that they've published a paper. So it's pretty neat.

postscript

To try when I get back from holidays:

• carrot oatmeal breakfast bake - http://www.greenkitchenstories.com/baked-carrot-cake-oatmeal/
• cauliflower rice pilaf - http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/cauliflower-rice-pilaf
• salmon cake/patties on a bed of either cousous OR cauliflower rice

I am so excited! This week, I'm going to make March soup again (given that the high is apparently not going to exceed 12 degrees celsius this entire week) and my zucchini pasta with creamy marinara sauce.

#contentlikeacat

Even though E. was only down for two days, we still managed to make the most of it - and typically, this fair city decided to make it sub 10 degrees celsius for the entire weekend (can I just say here and now that I cannot wait till I leave this place). He arrived (looking rather sleep deprived because he had finished work at 11:30pm the night before) on Saturday morning and off we went to lunch - hoping to make it to a Taiwanese eatery that we had often frequented for bubble tea, but never actually ate at. On the way down, we noticed students decked in costumes carrying Scrumpy bottles. Charming - I simply rolled my eyes. It wasn't until we drove to the restaurant that we noticed the road block of the street right next door to it that we realised that it was the annual student-dress-as-your-inner-whore-drunken-fest, which pretty much killed our prospects of eating there because there were hordes of inebriated eighteen and nineteen year olds right beside it. I interject again here to say that I cannot wait to leave this place. So instead, we hightailed into town and got some udon noodles, which in hindsight was actually almost as satisfying, given that temperatures had dropped another degree or so.

E. then got a haircut - and I have to say, he did look rather dashing. I don't really like to use the word, but it is an apt adjective, given the fact that the hairdresser who was cutting his hair and the other one present at the hair studio stopped to ooh and ahh over the finished product. The hairdresser is probably the one thing that I will miss about this place (oh, now that I think about it - the indie cafe with the fabulously seasoned french fries as well).
We then got coffees at a newly opened hipster cafe and bar and shared a pain au chocolat - the coffee was probably rather meh, but the pain au chocolat was pretty stellar. A spot of shopping later (p.s. Hallensteins - big ups for stocking clothes for smaller men and I have to say, your style is improving), it was pretty much dinner time. We had plans to visit the restaurant on the main street that had won awards for its red meat, but had eschewed in the past because... actually, I'm not sure why. I think it's partly my fault because it's engrained in my head that the fancy restaurants in town are all in the suburbs - i.e. to get five star food, you have to drive out of the city centre. I am a food snob. Anyway, we got there and it turned out that it was all booked out for a private function (and luckily, we had decided to drive there from my house, even though it is literally a five minute walk from my place because it had started to rain and the wind had picked up). So on we drove to the seaside suburb for hopes of getting the five star food that we were hoping for. Unfortunately it was all booked out and by this point, we were cold and rather hungry. So we called Plato and lo and behold, they had just one table left so we pretty much dashed there (and later, the maitre d' told us that he received five calls right after we had called).

Ah, Plato. You never ever fail to disappoint me. The service was attentive and the food arrived so promptly - I've always been so happy each and every time I've been (also another reason why I don't branch out because I've always been perfectly satisfied by the food from Plato). We got our orders in before the large groups at the other tables and so out came our paua fritters in record time, which were sublime. Our mains appeared not ten minutes later. E. ordered lamb rump, while I had dukkah crusted tuna steak. E's lamb was delicious but I shit you not, my tuna steak was phenomenal (in fact, when I later burped at home, it still tasted delicious - or as E. said, it tasted good both on the way down and up). We eschewed dessert (their cappuccino creme brulee is not to be snobbed) in favour of our favourite ice cream that we ate while watching a concert of Michael Buble performing live at Madison Square Garden - washed down with cider.

Sunday morning, we went to church and then went out to brunch with M. and J. - bacon pancakes with maple syrup, where have you been my entire life?! I am in love.
E. and I then decided to go to the newly opened museum for coffee and a bit of exploring because it was again, bitterly cold. We spent nearly two hours wandering inside and were not even close to finishing. It was actually a pleasant surprise because given the fact that E. dislikes reading, I thought he wouldn't be interested in reading the placards of accompanying information beside each display, but he turned out to have a much longer attention span than me (so maybe, I'm not as cultured as I think I am).

I had long pooh poohed the museum because I didn't really hold much expectation for it, but it turned out to be quite an interesting and informative experience - and there's nothing really better than wandering inside a museum on a cold day, holding hands and reading the entire afternoon. After being booted out at 4pm, we figured we had an hour and a half to spare before dinner, but neither of us were particularly keen on returning back to a cold flat. So instead, we headed off to play indoor mini golf. The first hole offered a prize if you managed to get a hole-in-one. E. snorted and decided that he wasn't going to try. The golf ball then rolled - as if it was going to fall in after one shot, but then it bounced out. It was hilarious. I obviously lost resoundingly, but it was still a lot of fun. After that, we had dinner and then he drove back.

Also, he bought me creme brulee tea. I am so spoilt and spend half my time bitching about inconsequential things. Whyyyy can't you be around all the time? Ah, E. I feel so disgusting from the amount of food I've consumed this weekend, but you make me so incredibly happy.

#gutfeeling

Gonna put it out there: bitch is gonna come crawling.

#insomnia

Migraines suck like a bitch. Fortunately, today's one was not accompanied by any defects in my visual fields. But it certainly felt like someone was stabbing me above my eye. Paracetamol and sleep were fantastic - so much so, that I was able to do exercise (which was good because I totally splurged today for lunch and galomphed pizza and wedges - but faaaark, did it satisfying my cravings). Except now, I am wide awake because of my late afternoon nap.

Only a week and a half left of neuro. It makes me sad because I actually really enjoyed neuro. But I'm looking forward to binding all my notes (all one hundred and twenty pages) into a nice book that I can study to my heart's content. But yeah... this year's gone fast. It's already Easter break, which is nice because I am so excited about clinical years.

#inspiration

I can tell you quite definitely that I do not regret choosing medicine in the slightest. Pharmacy never made my eyes light up - but even just learning about the brainstem nuclei and the cranial nerves (tedious detail to most) brought an unconscious smile to my face when we went over neuroanatomy today in class. 

Also, discovering Jacques Loussier may have helped. Let me explain. So I quite like my jazz music. Mozart puts me in the mood to study, but I don't necessarily like studying still. Put Mozart together with jazz, and it makes me actually like studying. It's like a weird form of classical conditioning - which is ironic because we're currently studying the nervous system. 

I made some more paleo carrot cupcakes this weekend - all kudos to this recipe here:

http://www.cupcakeproject.com/2012/03/paleo-diet-carrot-cupcakes-gluten-free.html

These cupcakes taste even better once they've been in the fridge overnight - the texture becomes just a wee bit more dense and it's definitely more moist. I had some with some light Greek yoghurt this morning for breakfast and it made me quite happy to get out of bed. It was an ultra healthy and tasty start to the day. I'm looking forward to breakfast tomorrow already...

#howimetyourSTEPmother

I have to weigh in on the HIMYM series finale because it has taken us nine friggin years to get here.

So, here be spoilers... you have been warned.

Tbh, I wasn't entirely surprised to see the mother killed off just so Ted could be reunited with the love of his life. What I wasn't so impressed with was the fact that in the space of a single season, I had brought myself to like the mother (I mean let's face it... who didn't? She was perfect for Ted in every single way) and then, the producers took her away from us. It was like "Oh hey, we're going to make the mother perfect for Ted and then actually, no - Robin's the love of Ted's life". If I was a true romantic, I probably would've been quite stoked with the ending. But as it is, there was something with this ending that resonated with me personally, which left me a little unsettled.


... what if I'm the mother?

#airforcepilots

My bed smells like freshly laundered sheets because for the first time in like... a year... I've actually gone and cleaned my duvet sheets. Which is rather disgusting and also rather odd, given my anal retentive-ness about cleanliness. Anyhow, it's a nice feeling of my duvets plumped up because down feather duvets tend to get all the air squished out of them.

Today I had to go and talk to some post grad second year medical students about 'bridging the gap from health sci'. To be honest, I don't think that there's much of a gap because life experience and knowing the way you study is a clear advantage. Okay fine, my own background was pretty advantageous and the only two areas that I felt severely lacking compared to the health sci kids were public health (bloody HEAL192 haunts me even to this day) and genetics (which as I discovered come exams, did not assess me on the range of random shit that Dr. B taught in lectures). But if you simply keep on top of work and don't let yourself be swamped with the information that they're feeding you in class, then you won't be at any disadvantage, health sci or not. I didn't get to say much (or rather, I didn't want to say much because I didn't want to seem like a stuck up third year) and also, Dr. B (the cool one) commandeered the stage and basically gave a TED talk on how to not stress and die as a second year medical student. Honestly, I wish he was my GP.
The one awesome thing that came out of the session (apart from listening to Dr. B's TED talk about how he managed to juggle having kids while he AND his wife were in med school) was the fact that I got to talk to Dr. J, the babein' former-air-force-pilot-turned-anatomist-lecturer. Again I say, babe. Anyway, just as we were about to leave, Dr. J was saying something about how he was going to lecture us third years in renal this year when I decided to say "Oh, that reminds me. I have a small bone to pick with you." Dr. J quirks his eyebrows. "I painstakingly learnt all the branches off the aorta and I was disappointed that it did not appear in the OSPE."
Dr. J looks rather sheepish. "Well, ah, it would've come in helpful if you had sat specials."
"Ah..." I trail off. Dr. J gives us a nod of farewell and leaves.
I faint (mentally).

Then I came home and attempted to study for the wanky formative case SAQ test tomorrow. I probably overstudied the details which we're probably not going to be tested on. Grr.