Currently as poor as a church mouse due to the fact that I can't work. This sucks because today I found a lovely pleated maxi dress that I would like to call my own.

Also, it is a beautiful day today and I smell. This sucks because I can't shower properly on the account of my plaster of paris cast falling to pieces.

Also, my flat now smells of burnt brownie. And I am full.

Also, I would like to have money so I can buy Bic Runga's newest album.

Note to self: homemade snow globes as presents/decorations. I cannot wait until I can walk around so I can make some.

http://www.cambio.com/2011/11/28/taylor-swift-christmas-snow-globes/

I also hope that by the time I get better, some things will also have changed. It's odd to think that it took a broken Achilles to get a confession. And if this broken Achilles leads to something else, then I will happily thank God every day that He allowed it to break.

The lyrics of Bruno Mars's song "It will Rain" are hauntingly prophetic.

It seems that along with a broken Achilles tendon, I will need to nurse myself a broken heart. So here goes, I suppose.

Another 365 days of journal entries, each day to signify how much I'll miss you... when you finally decide to leave me.

This time, probably for good.

I really don't know if I can go through what I went through a year ago. And I don't really want to either.

I'm sorry that I have to leave you. But I'm so sorry that you won't give that 0.1% a chance because I was willing to take you on those odds.

Year 2: Day Three

Sooo let's skip a few blog entries back to where I was ranting about dentists. Let me rant again: remember how I asked my dentist when I should worry about my wisdom teeth and she said that "this isn't the first priority"?

Well, dentist. You happen to suck.

Last night I went to sleep with a slightly swollen gum and woke up two hours later, unable to close my jaws because my gum was that swollen. E. had a look and thought my wisdom teeth were coming in but that amount of inflammation was generally not normal. After some dicing around, we both decided to go to the ED. At 3am.

Let me just digress by saying how much I love the ED at Dunedin Hospital... especially at night. At night there are no wailing babies/unruly children/you get the hint. This makes for rapid and efficient service.

Anyway, so I go present myself at the ED for the second time and got hit by a major sense of deja vu from last time when E. drove me to the ED for suspected appendicitis at 5am. They even put me in the same room as last time. I admit, I had a sense of cynicism about how much doctors could do about my swollen gum... because last time I checked, this was probably a job for a dentist. I was pretty much expecting a doctor to look briefly into my mouth and send me home with some ibuprofen. Mind you, I had considered taking some ibuprofen but decided I couldn't on the account that I couldn't take it with food seeing as I had lost the ability to chew.

I was pleasantly surprised. The doctor who saw me was a maxillo-facial in training. He was also kinda cute. But I didn't mention this to E., who was at this point, looking like he wanted to fall asleep on his feet. Said doctor was also humming under his breath, which made me conclude that he was slightly loopy. Or sleep deprived. He had a peep and said that yes, my wisdom teeth were coming through but a bit of my gum was trapped, causing a bit (or in my case, a lot) of inflammation. He sent me home to sleep and told me to come back in the morning to see the dentist.

Next morning, I turned up at the ED to see the hospital dentist. Slightly miffed that I had to wait an hour, but I'm not complaining because

a) it was still at the ED and my gum issues were definitely not life threatening

b) free dental care. I swear, if I had gone to see a dentist, I probably would've been charged at least $100

c) if I had gone to get my script dispensed from a private dentist, the code would've been A3... i.e. NON FRIGGIN SUBSIDISED. And I'm definitely not paying full price for my meds

d) it was a Saturday... and lazy arse private dentists are not open for business on a Saturday

Friendly hospital dentist came and got me, numbed me up and then proceeded to clear out all the pus trapped in my gum. Oh, voila. I could finally close my jaw. And best thing: IT WAS FREE. I was almost tempted to ask her to pull out the damn tooth while she was at it.

So dear dentist back at home: I would like to come back and tell you that yes, MY DAMN WISDOM TOOTH WAS AN IMMINENT PROBLEM.

But if I made an appointment to tell you, it'd probably cost me another $100 or so.

Also, I've decided that marrying a doctor isn't good enough any more, especially since my gums are being dicks. I would like to marry a maxillo-facial surgeon.

Day Three Hundred and Sixty Six

Exactly one year ago, I was probably sobbing uncontrollably in my room.

Tomorrow, I will be returning back. We've gone around one full circle. And while that is comforting, it's distressing in a way that we haven't moved anywhere.

It struck me that if I could've travelled forward one year exactly this time last year, I would've been surprised. Nothing has changed. We are neither one step closer or one step further. We are on a ledge in time, waiting for the ice to melt because neither of us will step aside.

And so we must wait.

Day Three Hundred and Sixty Five

A year ago, I was poised to say goodbye to the person who I loved, my best friend and confidante. How have things changed?

... nothing really. Except that I have a degree, good grades that will hopefully one day help me to be where I want to be, a great closet of clothes and good friends.

... I learned that he wasn't exactly the most trustworthy person.

... but I also found out how much he love(s) me still.

So really, we are an impasse. Where is there to go?

FOR THOSE READERS FROM FICTIONPRESS

AN ENDING IS IN SIGHT FOR 'DECEIVING IMPRESSIONS'.

I am writing it as we speak. I hope to have the last remaining chapters for you out soon :)

Day Three Hundred and Sixty Four

In all seriousness, who the hell flosses regularly? Well apparently, because of my lack of attention towards this, my gums are wrecked. To quote the dentist "I don't normally see this sort of bone (note: NOT tooth) decay in someone until they're in their forties". FORTIES!

I brush my teeth twice a day and floss... on the odd occasion. My last dental visit in the last year did not echo such ramifications as the ones insinuated by the dentist today (also, she looked somewhat snarky because she looked like she couldn't believe that a health professional could have such awful gums).

W H A T I S T H I S?

rageragerageragerage. So she refused to do anything to my teeth and bundled me off to a peridontal specialist.

Oh, and also the wisdom tooth on my bottom jaw will need to be addressed at some point. But "this is not the main concern".

But seriously, I am pretty sure I am NOT the only person in the entire world who doesn't floss regularly. Why the fuck are my gums wrecked then? And I'm pretty sure that this couldn't have happened over one year... which begs the question: why the hell didn't my previous dentist notify me of this?

And my mother will gleefully tell me "I told you so." For the countless times that she's told me to floss.

You know, at the rate things are going, exam results are probably going to come out and they're gonna be shitty. i.e. not an A+. dfslkjsfdlkjsdfkjsdflkj

postscript: marks came out. and I OWNED. the end. heheheheheheheh cackley cackle cackley. helloooo post graduate med (I hope).

Day Three Hundred and Sixty

Back at home. It feels like too short a stay. But at the same time, I'm excited to be returning to Dunedin.

Day Three Hundred and Fifty Two

In Christchurch and the start of our road trip :)

Kinda miss Dunedin at the moment though...